sorry for talking about the things i like so much
I tell my students this on the daily.
if you had to choose between living in the pokemon universe and world peace who would your starter be
That California law requires mandatory abuser reporters (educators, medical professionals, law enforcement, etc) to report incest, sodomy, or oral copulation if it is between two minors — even if it was consensual, but not vaginal intercourse.
i used to be a really smart kid who was “going places” but now i just cry a lot and eat all the food in the fridge
- Me: I'm hungry
- Mom: Let's go get a drink.
- benevolent god: okay i'm gonna set everything up really nice and make sure everyone is comfortable and then i'll zoom right in and watch carefully oops is your hunger bar getting low don't worry shh i have that taken care of i have a cheat shhh it's okay keep painting that weird purple thing i love you
- distant god: i'll set your life in motion but then i'm gonna pull back and let you do your thing maybe i'll wander the town a bit i'm sure you'll be fine
- loki: OOPS WHERE'D THAT DOOR GO I GUESS YOU'RE TRAPPED AND OH NO DID THE POOL LADDER DISAPPEAR I WONDER HOW LONG YOU CAN SWIM FOR HAHAHAHA FUCK YOU MORTAL
money can’t buy happiness but it can buy a false sense of security and fruity alcoholic beverages to numb the pain and honestly what’s the difference
You ever have those nights that leaving you wondering, “Did that just happen?”
“he could get it” i say about men who aren’t even close to wanting it